Serena's Thoughts
by Dolores
Summary: This is an new improved edited version, w/out ? and with Rini spelled correctly! Please give me a second chance. What does Serena really think about herself and the other scouts? Find out. This is after the break-up but before they know about Reenie.


Serena's Thoughts  
By Dolores  
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Author's Notes: On the off chance anyone decides to read my fic, there are several things I have to say:  
1) No, Sailor Moon (& co.) do not belong to me. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi (or should I say Takeuchi Naoko?), DiC and many other wonderful companies.  
2) I do plan to write other, more in-depth stories, if I get any feedback (and maybe even if I don't!)  
3) I would prefer not to receive e-mails telling me how stupid my story is and how much stupider I am. It just wastes your time and mine. If you don't like my work, don't read it. Ido appreciate constructive criticism, and any othercomments.  
That's it, thank you for sticking with me. And now on to the story.  
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None of them understand me. Oh, sure, they're my friends, my best friends. But even they don't see the real me, the one who hides underneath the cheerful, bubbly facade. Amy would be impressed, me Serena the Ditz, knowing the word facade, and being able to use it in a sentence. Sometimes, I wish I were more like them.  
  
I wish I were brilliant like Amy. Then I'd spend all my time studying. I'd be able to understand things that others don't even realize exist. And I'd always have my books for friends. So, then . . . maybe . . . when Darien dumped me it wouldn't have been as painful, or I'd be able to ignore Raye when she yelled at me for doing yet another Meatball-headed thing.  
  
Other times, I want to be like Lita, the strong Sailor Jupiter. She is truly strong, both physically, and in spirit. She has survived her parents' deaths, moving, losing her friends, and she still manages to be strong. On the physical side, she almost seems stronger, if that is possible. She could easily get a job as a bodyguard, if she wanted to. She is incredibly skilled in the Martial Arts. Another area she's skilled in is cooking. Lita could take a handful of rice, and whip up a meal fit for a king. I envy her, for she has so many skills.  
  
Now, while Mina doesn't have as many skills as Lita, and isn't as brainy as Amy, she, too, is much better than I. She just seems perfect. Mina Aino, the original sailor scout, Sailor V. She was my idol, even before I became Sailor Moon. I thought Mina was the Moon Princess, you know. But she was acting as a decoy. It makes me wonder, if I were to disappear, would Mina take my place? If she did, I bet Luna would be happy.  
  
I never have been good enough for Luna. Even before we found out I was the Moon Princess, I was always doing something wrong. I was late, I was a slob. I tried to tell myself, she harped on me because she loves me, like a daughter. But still that's hard to believe, I mean, nothing I could do was ever good enough. Luna has it easy. All she had to do was find the others and I, and then wake us up. I wish I were her. Even though she is a cat, everyone respects her. Even Rini.  
  
Rini seems to have had a hard life. She comes from the future, alone. No doting mother, no loving father. The other day I heard her talking to someone named "Puu". This "Puu", addressed her as Princess. I think she must be the daughter of one of the Scouts or . . . or maybe even me. I don't think she could be my daughter. The way things are going between me and Darien, we won't get close enough to . . . to . . . well you know, not to mention have a daughter. And he's my soul mate, so I will never desert him, no matter how hard it may be. Still, no matter who her parents are, Rini is lucky. She's too little to have to worry about the hard stuff, like going out and saving the world.  
  
The person I most want to be like is Raye. First off, she's drop-dead gorgeous. All the guys like her, until she pushes out her claws. Second, she sings so well. I wish my voice were better. There are those who tell me my voice is passing fair, but I doubt their word. But Raye, sings like a bird. The third thing that makes me want to be like Raye is her self-confidence. She always walks tall, and acts like she belongs. Raye is truly a marvel.  
  
When I start to compare myself with my friends, I can easily see why Darien dumped me. I'm a short, skinny, eighth grader who can't even keep up in school. And I'm a klutz, too. Not to mention, my manners can be atrocious. On top of it all, I'm afraid to fight. What happens, if a youma is strong enough to steal Rini, or injure one of the scouts. Or what if this Rubeus, is another Beryl, and he...he... kills us all. What will I do then? I'm nothing without my scouts, my protectors. Part of me dies every time we go to fight.   
  
I do have my good side. I am cheerful, bright, forgiving, and loving. But do my good points out way the bad? I don't know, I suppose I never will.  
  
*Beep, Beep, Beep*  
  
My communicator. I scrambled over to my bag.  
  
"Serena," it was Raye, "Serena, they have Rini. We need Sailor Moon. We're outside of that new shop downtown."  
  
So I transformed. My heart full of fear and my knees weak, I transformed. I could hear my heart beating, faster and faster.  
  
"I'm on my way, Mars," I said as I shut off my communicator. I jumped out the window, and ran toward the shop, hoping I would make it in time, so I, Sailor Moon, the craven defender of truth and justice could try to save my friends.  
  
As you can tell I've fixed the original errors. So what do you think? Should I try my hand at some more Sailor Moon fics, or should I stick with the poetry?  
  
3, Dolores  



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